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The Best Jokes About The New Year From Russia

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Stalin, during a speech: A note is passed up to the podium: Give it all now. A drunk was taking a walk in the zoo. Suddenly he saw a donkey. Question to Radio Armenia: Two rabbits on a road during the Stalinist terror of If I had known that I would have come with my whole family. Comedian and Russophile Viv Groskop explores a century of revolutionary comedy. The early-bird poet and broadcaster tries to arrive early to everything. An insight into the world of fictional characters brought to life by devoted fans.

Once forgotten, she is now revered by everyone from Alice Walker to Solange Knowles.


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From Tom Jones to Adrian Mole, have a look at lust in literature. Five people who have modified their bodies with technology. Phyllis Bottome is little known today, but did she inspire Ian Fleming? DJ and presenter Bobby Friction on how to escape the online echo chamber. A travel guide like no other, for black motorists in the midth Century it was a catalogue of refuge.

The comedian and broadcaster on boredom. How does every Russian joke start? By looking over your shoulder. Whats the difference between a smart Russian and a unicorn? Nothing, they're both fictional characters Q: What's meant by an exchange opinions in the Communist party of the Soviet Union? It's when I come to a party meeting with my own opinion, and I leave with the party's.

What do you call a Russian with Tourette's Syndrome? What is yards long and eats potatoes? A Moscow queue waiting to buy meat. Where do Russians get their milk? What occupies the last 6 pages of the Lada User's Manual? The bus and train timetables. The Poles say it's the longest and most painful of the roads to capitalism. What do you call a gassy russian? What is the fastest country in the world?

What do you call a Lada on a hill?

'Armenian Radio' jokes

What did Wendi Murdoch say to Vladimir Putin? What did the Russian people light their houses with before they started using candles? Did you hear about the winner of the Russian beauty contest? I asked my Russian friend "How is it going?

149 – New Year’s dialogues

He replied "can not complain" Q: When was the first Russian election held? The time that God set Eve in front of Adam and said, "Go ahead, choose your wife. Why did Stalin wear knee boots while Lenin's were much shorter? Because during Lenin's time, Russia was polluted only up to ankle. Where do Russians get their electricity?

How to ring in the New Year like a Russian - Russia Beyond

From Moscow Dynamo Q: What do Russians eat for dessert? The voice once again calls out: After 10 minutes of battle, again Silence.

Reagan tells Soviet jokes

The calm Finnish voice calls out again: The enraged Russian commander musters fighters and sends them to the other side of the hill. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible battle is fought Eventually one badly wounded Russian fighter crawls back over the hill and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men There's two of them.

My skydiving instructor would always take the time to answer any of our stupid first-timer questions. One guy asked, "If our chute doesn't open, and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have until we hit the ground? Songs are not going to make us do anything we would not ordinarily do. Because if that was the case, the song "Achy Breaky Heart" would have made me kill somebody about a year ago.


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  • A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. You scared the daylights out of me! An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard.

    Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the greenhouse. Scared, they called the police. The dispatcher replied, he would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls. The old man waited for a few minutes and called Dispatch again. He told Dispatch, "Don't worry about sending an officer, I shot the robbers and now the dogs are eating their bodies!