Dirty Jokes from the Old Man
What kind of bees produce milk? What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? And possibly use a lubricant. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? They don't have balls to scratch. What do bread and autistic kids have in common? They both have special needs Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are YOU shaking? She's going to eat me!
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister. They both suck for four quarters. Q; What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? A rabbi cuts them off; A priest sucks them off Q: Why do dwarfs laugh when they play soccer? The grass tickles their balls Q: What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown? A cheater, cheater, woman beater. What is pink, goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet? What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't? What does a good bar and a good woman have in common?
Liquor in the front and poker in the back! Why does the Easter Bunny hide Easter eggs? He doesn't want anyone knowing he's been fucking the chickens! What is the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather Did you hear Lorena Bobbit just died? Yeah I heard she was on the freeway and some dick cut her off. When does a cub become a boy scout? When he eats his first Brownie. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? When you pull her pants down her ass is still in them Q: What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U. What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. What do u call a bunny with a bent dick?
What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo? A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe. What's 6 inches long and starts with a p? Why is being in the military like a blow-job? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
Old man jokes
They both only change their pads after every third period! What is the difference between oral and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak. Whats the best thing about a 18 year old girl in the shower? Slick her hair back she looks What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman? The back of my hand. What do you call a bookworm who gets eaten by a cannibal?
- Elders and their jokes...!
- Mixed-Up Matrimony (Mills & Boon Vintage Desire).
- Los tres mosqueteros (Spanish Edition);
- Funny Old Man Jokes Top Jokes about Old Men www.newyorkethnicfood.com?
- Old Man Joke?
What do you call white men chasing a black man? How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry. How man Sorority girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, One to screw it in, and one to take a picture. How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "Who's special? What does a gangbanger have in common with a soda machine? They both don't work and always take your money. Why are there only two pallbearers at a homeless guys funeral?
There are only two handles on a garbage can. How do they say "fuck you" in Los Angeles? How do you get tickets to the Tampon ? Because he has holes in his hands. Why Are crippled people always picked on? Because they can't stand up for themselves Q: Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when your done What would happen if you cut off your left side? You would be all right. What is Superman's greatest weakness? Why did Hitler commit suicide? He got the gas bill. What is a crack head's favorite song? How do you get retards out of a tree? What do you call a gangbanger behind bars? Why did the boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms. What's sicker than a pile of dead babies?
The one alive in the middle chewing it's way out. How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
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Pick him up and suck on his cock! Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because his pecker is on his head! Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? He needed to get to the bottom! What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me im going in!
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What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah? What's worse than spiders on your piano? Crabs on your organ. Why did the Mafia cross the road? What did the Alabama sheriff call the black guy who had been shot 15 times? Worst case of suicide he had ever seen. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you. She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice. What's black, white, and red all over and doesn't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a spear through her head. Why are pubic Hairs so curly?
So they don't poke her eye out. What's the difference between a bandleader and a gynecologist?
Old People Tell The Best Dirty Jokes And This 89-Year-Old Proves It
A bandleader fucks his singers and a gynecologist sucks his fingers. What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? Why do men like big tits and a tight ass? Because they've got big mouths and little dicks. Whats long hard and full of seamen?
Whats long, Hard and Erects stuff? Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong. Name the five great kings that have brought happiness in to peoples lives A: Drinking Licking sucking fucking and wanking. What's the difference between onions and prostitutes? I cry when I cut up onions Why can't Jesus play hockey? He keeps getting nailed to the boards.
Topic Jokes
What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without the kids! Why don't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is Q: How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex? Call her and tell her. Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls. What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
Why was the African American girl quiet during the movie? Why do black people not like to go on cruises? They already fell for that trick once. What's the job application to Hooters? They just give you a bra and say: Here, fill this out. Get a hot mamma and be cheerful. I said, You've got a heart murmur - be careful. An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said: Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.
I just sit around and listen to their conversations.
Meteorologist's Old Man Tells The Best Dirty Jokes, Including This One
I've changed my will three times! One day at the rest home, an old man and woman are talking. Out of nowhere the woman says, "I can guess your age.
He doesn't understand but does it anyway. She inspects his rear end for a few minutes and then says, "You're 84 years old. A young man with a wild and multi-coloured hairstyle sits next to an old man on a park bench.