Where Does It Hurt?: How to Overcome Abuse

Verbal or emotional abuse: This kind of abuse can happen without touching.

Responses to Being Abused

It can be verbal abuse if someone yells all the time, calls the kid mean names, or threatens to leave the kid or have him or her adopted. All kids deserve to have adults in their lives who love and support them as they grow up. It's common for parents get angry with their kids once in a while, but if there's yelling, punishing, and threatening too much of the time, a kid can start feeling really bad about himself or herself. It's really important to tell a trusted adult this is happening.

Neglect happens when kids live in a home where the adults don't give them basic stuff that all kids need — like food, clean clothes, and a bed to sleep in. When parents or caretakers neglect kids, the kids may not get baths, sleep under warm blankets, or get checkups or medicine when they need them. It can be hard for a kid to tell someone that he or she is not getting these important things. A parent or caregiver might have troubles such as losing a job, having family problems, or using alcohol or drugs.

But no matter why it is happening, a kid needs to tell someone. Then, the kid can start getting the stuff he or she needs and the parent or caregiver can get help, too. You know it's important for kids to tell someone if they think they're being hurt, harmed, or abused.

Emotional Abuse Quotes

But how does a kid tell? Here are some ideas:. The way a kid tells and whom a kid tells will be different depending on the situation. The most important thing is to tell someone — or even several people — until someone takes action to stop the abuse from happening. Kids who let adults know that someone is hurting them, even if it's someone they love, might be helping other kids as well as themselves.

Let the person know you need to talk about something in private.

• The Butterfly Heart.
• Strokes, Vol. 1.
• Wokingham: A Town through the Eyes of Terry Clark?
• Don't Blame Yourself.
• Static Demagogue.

He will just keep coming up with more demands because he believes his needs are your responsibility, until you feel drained down to nothing. That's what my good-hearted mom always told us. He had limitations, but he meant no harm. It was kind of her to say, but he did do harm.

It does not disappear if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated the silent screams continue internally heard only by the one held captive. When someone enters the pain and hears the screams healing can begin. I would never let someone treat me that way. When she stands up to him, he makes her pay for it—sooner or later.

He will promise to change. And, depending on what style of abuser he is, she may know that he will become dangerous when she tries to leave him. She may even be concerned that he will try to take her children away from her, as some abusers do. He or she may begin to believe that there is something wrong with them or even fear they are losing their mind. They have become so beaten down emotionally that they blame themselves for the abuse. It is the wounds of the heart and the scars on the mind. It leads to increased intimacy and closer bonds. When a healthy person realizes that he or she hurt you, they feel remorse and they make amends.

In an abusive system, vulnerability is dangerous.

Abusive people feel a surge of power when they discover a weakness. They exploit it, using it to gain more power. Some scars are numb. Some scars rid you of the capacity to feel anything ever again. She had not chosen this way. It was her fate. It had been decided since before time began.

It had been decided before she began.

After the Abuse Has Ended

Nothing could be done. There was no point in trying. It was way too late. The inevitability of nothing was totally supreme, overriding everything. She could only accept the unacceptable. My relationship with them will never be amazing, but I am learning on how to accept them for who they are rather than wish they were different people. The painful memories and experiences of growing up in an abusive home will never be erased.

At one point in my life, I wished that I could. I allowed my pain to teach me something rather than blame someone or something for it happening to me.

• Waiting for a Miracle.
• Emotional Abuse Quotes ( quotes).
• The Book of Five Rings.

I have found gifts in my traumatic experience of abuse. It has taught me how to be humble, compassionate, and most of all empathetic to other people. If anything, I have learned more on how to truly connect with the human species. Pain can have a strong transformative power and way of leading people in the right directions.

It definitely has for me. Allow it to be your compass to find the light at the end of the tunnel. I know for years I felt as though I was helpless and scared of what would happen if I spoke up about the abuse.

I was concerned about what people would say, if they would judge me or think I deserved it. These types of doubts and fears can stop a person from moving forward and believing in possibilities. These fears definitely kept me from speaking up for sixteen years. However, I realized that my happiness and overall well-being were more important than anything, and that it was time to start believing in myself and who I was.

When being abused, we can often ignore what the person has done to us and think we are the fault. This is not the case at all. No one deserves to be abused. Think about all of the things that make you great and use those characteristics to give you strength and motivation.

After The Abuse Has Ended

If this is difficult, seek out support from a close friend, confidant, or someone who knows you well and can help you believe in yourself again. Friends and close loved ones may be your saving grace and strongest form of support, especially if you are in need of encouragement or motivation to push forward. Remember you are a human being who is worthy of being loved in a healthy way. Abuse is not love. Fear is going to be your 1 enemy in trying to change anything in your life.

Surround yourself with positive quotes, books, inspirational messages, and people who love you to get through. Believe in yourself and trust that you have a life purpose here. As a survivor of abuse, I found that I would attract people who had qualities similar to my parents. After getting out of an abusive situation, the last thing you would think to happen or want is another abusive experience.