The Journey into Wholeness for Single Mothers
The skew in population toward elders is a new sociological phenomenon, which can spark social change due to this large pool of women who have come of age in an era of opportunity for personal, professional, and spiritual growth. Women used to be crones in their 40s, physically and emotionally spent by a life of constant childbearing. With the elongation in lifespan, and choice about family size, a fourth aspect of the lifecycle has become identifiable: The childhood and adolescent years involve development of the right brain in girls, in a manner distinct from boys, that predisposes them to relationality and interdependent thinking.
Menarche is a milestone in the development of wisdom that allows women to experience a cyclic increase in right brain dominance and intuition monthly.
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PMS is a positive expression of this bio-psychological wisdom. Young adulthood is the most stressful time for women as they begin to make their way in the world. A little wisdom goes a long way in avoiding stress, developing the capacity to have healthy relationships, and to mother either children or careers. The wild and wonderful biology of attraction, sexuality, and reproduction are most potent in these years and need to be understood.
Why are we attracted to a guy who our higher cortex recognizes as a low-down dirty dog? Fortunately, Mother Nature has some neurobiological tricks, which ensure that unless there was psychological damage early in life we will also fall in love with our newborns. Working mothers might have a harder time. Research from Yale indicates that most women contrary to their mothering desires put work first, kids second, spouse if there is one third. Female friends, who are the best buffer we have against stress, come limping in at a tired and distant fourth.
The cycle ushers in a period of healing in preparation for the hormonal changes that are already beginning to turn us into wise women. Three types of healing take place during this time. They are healing from …. Spinning straw into gold is the process of turning old wounds into wisdom. The 40s transition is an opportunity more than a crisis. What do women do? Some changes that occur include:. The elder wisdom years beyond, are hardly a time for fading into the woodwork.
These are the years when a woman who has done her healing comes into an authentic sense of self. It is a path of renewal and growth that continually shapes her most authentic self. Childhood and adolescence; three seven-year cycles from 0 to 21 Mother: Young adult; three cycles from 21 to 42 Guardian: Mid-life; three cycles from 42 to 63 Crone: Elder wisdom years; three cycles from 63 to 84, and the time beyond 10 Qualities of Wholeness Curiosity: Openess, spaciousness, and presence Stillness: The ability to center and find inner peace Emotional Intelligence: Self-awareness How do I feel?
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